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RSplash40
WGA Member



Joined: 2006-12-23
Posts: 6261

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:22 am Reply with quote Back to top

MUHAAHAH I've heard that flipped around with the husband coming home, still great!

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Accosting pine tree\'s and rendering caches harmless since 2005.... 
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Todd300




Joined: 2009-06-05
Posts: 2536
Location: Menominee, MI

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:23 pm Reply with quote Back to top

How do you keep an idiot busy? Read the next post.......
 
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Todd300




Joined: 2009-06-05
Posts: 2536
Location: Menominee, MI

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:24 pm Reply with quote Back to top

How do you keep an idiot busy? Read the previous post.
 
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spd2662
WGA Friend



Joined: 2009-12-07
Posts: 51

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:26 pm Reply with quote Back to top

After a winter carnival in Superior, two men were discussing what should be done with the ice sculpture that was erected for the event. One of them wanted to tear it down, but the other insisted that they leave it up so it would be ready for next year’s event.
 
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bartrod
WGA Member



Joined: 2008-03-12
Posts: 1100
Location: Oconto, WI-The birthplace of western civilization

PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:08 pm Reply with quote Back to top

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:’

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, cowboy, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'NO! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!' Laughing
 
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bartrod
WGA Member



Joined: 2008-03-12
Posts: 1100
Location: Oconto, WI-The birthplace of western civilization

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:07 pm Reply with quote Back to top

While creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.

And then He smiled and made the earth round.
Bartrod
 
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Todd300




Joined: 2009-06-05
Posts: 2536
Location: Menominee, MI

PostPosted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:06 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Image
 
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hotdogs_off_trail
WGA Member



Joined: 2002-02-20
Posts: 754
Location: North Freedom, Wi. USA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:09 am Reply with quote Back to top

This guy from Wisconsin dies and finds himself in a large room standing in line with a bunch of people who have also died. As he stands there, he sees God and Satan working their way down the line. When God selects someone from the line, he or she is escorted to an escalator glowing with heavenly light. When Satan selects someone, he or she is dumped down a chute to the fires below.

As the old-timer watches, every so often Satan takes someone out of the line and throws him or her to one side and onto a pile of other people, stacking them all like firewood rather than throwing them down the chute. His curiosity piqued, the farmer steps out of line and approaches Satan.

"Excuse me, sir. I can see that you're plenty busy but I have a question."

Satan glares at him impatiently but does respond, "What is it?"

The old-timer asks, "Why do you sometimes take people out of line and throw them on a pile rather than down the chute to hell?"

"Ah, that's simple! The ones on the pile are from Wisconsin and they're too cold and wet to burn . . ."
 
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bartrod
WGA Member



Joined: 2008-03-12
Posts: 1100
Location: Oconto, WI-The birthplace of western civilization

PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 4:29 pm Reply with quote Back to top

A woman in London brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!"
she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150." Laughing
 
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Todd300




Joined: 2009-06-05
Posts: 2536
Location: Menominee, MI

PostPosted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:43 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Image

"There's the cache. Next time get extra batteries for your GPS, ok?"
 
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Todd300




Joined: 2009-06-05
Posts: 2536
Location: Menominee, MI

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:02 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Image
 
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bartrod
WGA Member



Joined: 2008-03-12
Posts: 1100
Location: Oconto, WI-The birthplace of western civilization

PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:49 pm Reply with quote Back to top

IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please."
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
Laughing
 
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RSplash40
WGA Member



Joined: 2006-12-23
Posts: 6261

PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:28 pm Reply with quote Back to top

Do fish ever get thirsty?

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Accosting pine tree\'s and rendering caches harmless since 2005.... 
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huffinpuffin2
WGA Member



Joined: 2009-07-17
Posts: 2648
Location: Puffindoofer

PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:00 pm Reply with quote Back to top

RSplash40 wrote:
Do fish ever get thirsty?


Definitively, yes: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006011101445 Smile Smile
 
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RSplash40
WGA Member



Joined: 2006-12-23
Posts: 6261

PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:20 pm Reply with quote Back to top

If you run backwards do you gain weight?

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