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bartrod 10 years, 5 months ago.
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I think I have all 5 with number 4 being questionable.
@rsplash40 wrote:
@bartrod wrote:
Okay, RSplash…I think I know 2 of them…still thinking about the others. 😀
I hope its #3, i forgot that one :>
#3 came to me as I went to bed last night…and I wasn’t even thinking about it…I am truly weird!
Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
The Darwin’s are out!!!! These are all true episodes taken from various news snippets over the year.
Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.Here’s the Honorable Mentions:
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef’s claim was approved.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
😆Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
@rsplash40 wrote:
1. Which room is safest for him?
2. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray
when you throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly
you can find out what is so unusual about it.1. got this one right away
2. did this for many years
3. had an argument with another Dutch oven cook about this one
4. yep
5. ever read “Gadsby: Champion of Youth” ?All opinions, comments, and useless drivel I post are mine alone and do not reflect the opinions of the WGA BOD.
@rsplash40 wrote:
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water
for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later
they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray
when you throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I’m curious as to just how quickly
you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary
and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact,
nothing is wrong with it. It is highly unusual though. Study it
and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if
you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any
coaching!I got all of them but #2.
Hmmm… #5 and “Granny Squares” have something in common, just different. 😈 😈 😉
@sandlanders wrote:
Hmmm… #5 and “Granny Squares” have something in common, just different. 😈 😈 😉
“Granny Squares” gives me headaches 😕
All opinions, comments, and useless drivel I post are mine alone and do not reflect the opinions of the WGA BOD.
@bigjim60 wrote:
3. had an argument with another Dutch oven cook about this one
OH DUH! how could i forget that? 😛
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
‘Oh my, I am so sorry,’ the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. ‘Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,’ she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
‘You know,’ he said, ‘you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?’
‘No,’ she replies. . .
‘You just happened to catch my eye.’
Three guys were all at a deer camp and no one wanted to room with Bob because he snored so badly.
They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said: “Man, what happened to you?”
He said: “Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”
The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing –hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said: “Man, what happened to you? You look awful!”
He said: “Man, that Bob shakes the Roof with his snoring. I watched him all night.”
The third night was Fred’s turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy; a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
“Good morning!” he said.
They couldn’t believe it. They said: “Man, what happened?”
He said: “Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and
Kissed him good night. . . . . Bob sat up and watched me all night.” 😆Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa.”
The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.” The next day grandpa died.The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.”
The next day the grandmother died.
“Holy smokes” thought the father, “this kid is in contact with the other side.”Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:
“God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.”
He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.When he got home his wife said “I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?”
He said “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!” 😆Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
Should a Child Witness Childbirth?
Here’s your answer:
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house
was very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl, to hold a
flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the
baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and
pushed, and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him
by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The
paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr
old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly
responded, ‘He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place……..
spank his ass again!’A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, ‘What is this Father?’
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, ‘Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.’
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son…..
‘Go get your Mother’
funny car nicknames
Chuck Taurus
Jean Claude Grand Am
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