This topic contains 437 replies, has 58 voices, and was last updated by 
bartrod 10 years, 3 months ago.
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Now THAT’S funny :bartrod:
Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
Football and the Blonde
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was… ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like…Helloooooo? It’s only 25 cents!!!!”:bartrod: :bartrod: :bartrod:
Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
This year’s Christmas shopping is going to be soooo easy…I am getting everyone one package of batteries with a note saying, “Toys not included”.
Ok, so who’s guilty here?
A wife wakes up from a dream yelling “hurry my husband’s home!” and the husband wakes up and jumps out the window…What to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
Then I put down my beer, handed over my car keys and walked home…Jermichael Finley’s new endorsement deal.
Three guys are having an argument over the worlds’ greatest invention.
The first one says, “It’s the automobile. You can drive anywhere in North America in just a few days.”
The second one says, “It’s the airplane. You can fly anywhere in the world in just a few hours.”
The third one says, “You’re both wrong. It’s the thermos bottle. It keeps cold things cold and it keeps hot things hot. How does it know?!”
(Of course, only guys would have this argument…)
A bear walks into the bar.
The bartender says What can I get for you?
The bear says I’ll have a rum……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….and Coke.The bartender says What’s with the pause?
The bear says Well I am a bear you know.
How to tell someone from WI has a DWI
There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life!!!!!!!!
The angel tells them, ‘As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.’
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery..
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, ‘Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?’
He asks her ‘Shall we?’
She eagerly replies, ‘Oh, yes, let’s! But let’s change positions….This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.’AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING 😯
Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
The day before Valentine’s Day, Bob didn’t know what to do to celebrate with his new wife, and was looking for inspiration.
He asked his friend Tom whether he planned to give his wife a gift.
“Oh, yes, of course,” Tom said. “I got her a belt and a bag.”
“Wow, that sounds great,” Bob said. “I’m sure she’ll love them.”
“Definitely,” Tom replied. “She’s been wanting them for months.”
“She can’t seem to get the vacuum to work right without them.”
A conservative, a moderate and a liberal walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hi Mitt”.
^^ Now I’m kind of concerned cause that sounds like one of my posts ^^
Got this one from a friend…too funny 😆
The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a..m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up
and cuckooed 3 times.Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another
9 times.I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.(Even when totally smashed…. 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos
MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him
‘MIDNIGHT’… he didn’t seem pissed off in the least.Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo
clock.’When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its
throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then
tripped over the coffee table and farted.Oconto...the birthplace of western civilization:)
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