[jerrys dad]

Thank you for making the minutes easily available. I believe this is a great start to a new year!

[jerrys dad]

I used the cheepie yellow etrex one for over half my finds. So any unit will do. It’s just a question of what you all want your unit to do. I currently have a etrex Legend cx. I don’t use the topo map to geocahe so it doesn’t bother me.My wife keeps the standard etrex in her car for stops on her way home from work! Both work well! Which ever kind you choose, have fun and enjoy our hobby!

[jerrys dad]

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment…

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,
I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

[jerrys dad]

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.

While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA)

was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and

tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN )

to the radio (MADE IN INDIA )

he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY )

filled it with GAS (from Saudi Arabia )

and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet anotherdiscouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer (made in MALAYSIA ),

John decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL),

poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can’t find a good paying job in AMERICA .

AND NOW HE’S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT

MADE IN KENYA!

[jerrys dad]

Thank you everybody! After having Jacob being born with a heart defect we found out today our litle Jinjer is a model of perfect health!

Once again thanks for all the warm wishes,

Jeff and Jeni

[jerrys dad]

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says “Darn, I can’t get in the car!” The other blond replies, “keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down”.

[jerrys dad]

I’m not an Ellen fan, but this was too good!

Ellen phone call

[jerrys dad]

Due to the climate of political correctness now
pervading America,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no
longer be referred to as ‘HILLBILLIES.’
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a ‘BREASTED AMERICAN.’

2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE..’

3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..’

4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’

5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’

6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’- She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE
POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’

2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN..’

3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’

4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’

5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of ‘RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’

6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE…’

[jerrys dad]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
“Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle,
and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her boyfriend asks,
“What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

He takes her hand and says, “Second, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cold drink, and then, “he said with a deep sigh…….

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.”

[jerrys dad]

Yes Pitchers and catchers report tomorrow! 😆

[jerrys dad]

Fellow classm ates who dont understand that Outdoor Adventures for is not an appropriate title for a newsletter! Who is it for?
The same people put a shadow coming off the table of contents to the edge of the page! What is it there for? It looks like crap! Plus they forgot to put all of the articles into the table of contents. Oh yea, the lettering for it was two different colors. It started blue and ended in black font!
And while I’m at it, stretching a picture to fill in white space, verticle only, looks worse than leaving it with white space!
Man I better still get an A or I’ll be pissed.
And YES I did say to fix all those but one woman overuled everyone! It was a group of four and I got blamed for dominating the group!

[jerrys dad]

@MuddyBottoms wrote:

Bump…and Oh yeah, I got an e-mail from the Brewers I was selected via the lottery system to be able to buy opening day tickets…sweet…can’t wait!

Lucky! When the All-Star game was in town, we were drawn in the lottery for one of the four pack of tickets. It was a once in a lifetime experience for me. I almost caught a ball in the home run contest. You could see me on TV leaping and being an inch or two short.

[jerrys dad]

Twenty thousand eight hundred twenty minutes

[jerrys dad]

The new condo laws on financing, that will make getting out of here even harder!

[jerrys dad]

I think your not looking at all sides here. Your forgetting those of us who do not have full use of our hands or those of use who can only use them for so long because they become painful (mines an industrial accident and not arthritis.) Accidents happen and sometimes you physically need to cut and paste or you would never finish logging your finds. I do explain when I do why, that’s the least I can do.

[Author]

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